One Man Show

*before i start - this is my idea for this blog - i think i'm going to just write something every day based on what song comes up on shuffle when i sit down to write. i'm not saying i'll definitely stick to it, but i thought it'd be a cool idea.

anyway, when i sat down and came up with this MARVELOUS idea, i was listening to One Man Show by the jonas brothers. not one of my favorites by them, but its off of my favorite album of theirs sooo thats cool i guess. anyway

Something I guess I always knew about myself but never really acknowledged was that in some ways...I'm a bit of a loner. A "one man wolf pack," if you will ...
But when my brother brought Janelle home I knew she was one of my own, and my wolf pack, it grew by one...

JUST KIDDING :P

No but really, staying home for college instead of going away has taught me that I really like Kerry time. I thought that I'd legit turn into a loser with no friends by staying home, when I could be away at college and surrounded by people 24/7. However, I'm totally happy with the decision I've made, because I realize now that I like to pick and choose when I hang out with people. I've met some people in the more recent part of my basically 20 years of existance who don't quite get this concept, and they most likely won't be reading this blog, but i thought i'd just take this time to explain the self-proclaimed loner to you all.
First, let's clear things up. I am in no way anti-social. I love my friends to death. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for the people who are in my inner most circle.
However, let's get serious, there are very few people on this earth that I want to spend every free moment of my life with. Their names are nick/kevin/joe jonas, johnny depp, and george clooney. None of which are currently knocking on my door waiting to see if I would like to accompany them to dinner, a movie, and whatever else the night may have to offer ;)
When I'm alone, I feel like I'm figuring out who I am just as much as when I'm hanging out with my friends. This is when I listen to music...and i mean really listen and disect lyrics, think / reflect on EVERYTHING (like why Kevin Jonas married his current wife and not me, how and when I'm going to finish school assignments, why Danielle Staub is the most arrogant/ignorant woman alive, why the sky is blue, and all in all basically plan out the rest of my life). When I'm alone, I feel like I just can clear my head. I love sitting on my bed (which I am doing right now) and just surfing the internet. I love finding out what's going on in the world, reading about the latest pop culture gossip, looking up new ways to do my hair, or just...THINKING.
When I hang out with people too much, I stop thinking. I feel like I get sucked into the Cady Heron / Regina George complex and am just too focused on figuring out how to better myself in others eyes, that I forget what it is that KERRY really wants.
This has been on my mind a lot, just because some people who are extremely dependant on others have come into my life recently, and this was really new to me. I've always had friends that were content with my need to NOT hang out every spare moment of every day.
Anyway, I guess where I'm going with this is...if you're this type of person, know that you're totally normal! And, if you're not this type of person (ex: you're the latter person who likes to fill up their entire schedule and never have a moment to themselves) I guess just understand that some people like time to clear their heads. and...that is that.

I promise these blogs will get more organized as i do them more. I'm basically just writing as I think, rather than having a general idea of where I'm going with ideas.